








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 292 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September

The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 493 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 318 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 250 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 125 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 125 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 100 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 72 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 55 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 32 matches | ||
| Wingman | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 5 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




67 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7185 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,417 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 552 | 4% |
| Smokes | 5427 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 1720 | 11% |
| Molotovs | 7718 | 50% |
Our logs show you have wasted $355,016 of utility $11 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 73 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...






