








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1492 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 1648 matches | ||
| Wingman | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 13 matches | ||
| Faceit | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 63 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




48 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
13057 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 27,022 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3259 | 12% |
| Smokes | 3623 | 13% |
| HE Grenades | 9605 | 36% |
| Molotovs | 10535 | 39% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,209,189 of utility $60 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1606 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sir.ap | 52% | 175 |
| #2 | Same | 50% | 151 |
| #3 | Infused | 48% | 122 |
| #4 | vic | 48% | 91 |
| #5 | Endzeit | 45% | 202 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Same | 50% | 151 |
| #3 | Infused | 48% | 122 |
| #4 | vic | 48% | 91 |
| #5 | Endzeit | 45% | 202 |
| #6 | Red | 41% | 123 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Endzeit | 24 | 0.0054 |
| #2 | vic | 13 | 0.0067 |
| #3 | sir.ap | 12 | 0.0034 |
| #4 | Same | 8 | 0.0028 |
| #5 | Red | 5 | 0.0022 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Endzeit | 706 | 0.16 | 17 min |
| #2 | sir.ap | 369 | 0.10 | 9 min |
| #3 | Infused | 234 | 0.09 | 6 min |
| #4 | vic | 123 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #5 | Same | 103 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sir.ap | +3.19 | 63 | 49 |
| #2 | Infused | +0.70 | 44 | 59 |
| #3 | Endzeit | +0.52 | 41 | 56 |
| #4 | Red | -0.09 | 50 | 54 |
| #5 | Same | -0.27 | 44 | 42 |





