








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 292 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 33 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
612 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,821 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 813 | 29% |
| Smokes | 434 | 15% |
| HE Grenades | 986 | 35% |
| Molotovs | 588 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $350,732 of utility $151 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 44 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #4 | <ɹǝʌɐpɐɔ> | 29% | 14 |
| #5 | Cat | 22% | 9 |
| #6 | Pot8o | 13% | 15 |
| #7 | Grilledcheese | 11% | 9 |
| #8 | Twitch I avidSchizo | 0% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shortyman69x | 8 | 0.0213 |
| #2 | Pot8o | 2 | 0.0081 |
| #3 | Cat | 2 | 0.0123 |
| #4 | JOEY_WH0 | 1 | 0.0021 |





