








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 75 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Inferno | 74 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 46 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 23 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
1243 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,101 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 837 | 20% |
| Smokes | 1030 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 630 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 1604 | 39% |
Our logs show you have wasted $788,324 of utility $183 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 10 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | memerobbber | 58% | 12 |
| #2 | Abdul Morelan | 50% | 12 |
| #3 | Kevin_Kat | 46% | 13 |
| #4 | Dallas™ | 35% | 195 |
| #5 | kONG! | 30% | 81 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Abdul Morelan | 50% | 12 |
| #3 | Kevin_Kat | 46% | 13 |
| #4 | Dallas™ | 35% | 195 |
| #5 | kONG! | 30% | 81 |
| #6 | Mustang ☯ -iwnl- | 19% | 21 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dallas™ | 3 | 0.0008 |
| #2 | Mustang ☯ -iwnl- | 1 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dallas™ | 271 | 0.07 | 9 min |
| #2 | kONG! | 170 | 0.10 | 4 min |
| #3 | Kevin_Kat | 37 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #4 | Mustang ☯ -iwnl- | 32 | 0.08 | 1 min |
| #5 | memerobbber | 14 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dallas™ | +3.95 | 83 | 73 |
| #2 | Abdul Morelan | +1.03 | 69 | 18 |
| #3 | Kevin_Kat | -0.62 | 36 | 64 |
| #4 | Mustang ☯ -iwnl- | -1.50 | 75 | 53 |
| #5 | kONG! | -2.53 | 40 | 69 |





