








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 266 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 157 matches | ||
| Premier | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




120 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
997 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,922 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1028 | 53% |
| Smokes | 232 | 12% |
| HE Grenades | 422 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 240 | 12% |
Our logs show you have wasted $620,817 of utility $177 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1730 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Arkallisus | 56% | 16 |
| #2 | Sciencelme | 42% | 24 |
| #3 | Vistajones | 38% | 16 |
| #4 | VLADIMIR SHOOTIN | 36% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Arkallisus | 56% | 16 |
| #2 | Sciencelme | 42% | 24 |
| #3 | Vistajones | 38% | 16 |
| #4 | VLADIMIR SHOOTIN | 36% | 14 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sciencelme | 15 | 0.0342 |
| #2 | Vistajones | 11 | 0.0409 |
| #3 | VLADIMIR SHOOTIN | 4 | 0.0162 |
| #4 | Arkallisus | 3 | 0.0121 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | VLADIMIR SHOOTIN | 25 | 0.10 | 0 min |
| #2 | Arkallisus | 17 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| #3 | Sciencelme | 16 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #4 | Vistajones | 4 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vistajones | +7.06 | 79 | 9 |
| #2 | Sciencelme | +4.32 | 63 | 36 |
| #3 | Arkallisus | +2.19 | 54 | 36 |
| #4 | VLADIMIR SHOOTIN | +1.98 | 57 | 39 |
| #5 | China Man 2 | -2.60 | 27 | 25 |





