








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 855 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 404 matches | ||
| Esplay | 52 matches | 1,487 | |
| Wingman | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




24 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4250 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,954 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2225 | 19% |
| Smokes | 4650 | 39% |
| HE Grenades | 2322 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 2757 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,505,425 of utility $212 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 183 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | långburksflyggan | 55% | 42 |
| #2 | Theo Tuberkulos | 52% | 191 |
| #3 | Lemmy | 52% | 131 |
| #4 | Bandit | 50% | 151 |
| #5 | Arne | 50% | 188 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Noor | 45 | 0.0075 |
| #2 | Lemmy | 18 | 0.0067 |
| #3 | Arne | 16 | 0.0041 |
| #4 | Theo Tuberkulos | 15 | 0.0038 |
| #5 | Bandit | 6 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | långburksflyggan | +3.26 | 68 | 40 |
| #2 | Theo Tuberkulos | +1.62 | 79 | 35 |
| #3 | Lemmy | +1.19 | 64 | 45 |
| #4 | Bandit | +0.46 | 71 | 17 |
| #5 | Staxx | +0.19 | 75 | 44 |





