








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 95 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 220 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




20 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2761 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,478 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 898 | 20% |
| Smokes | 1215 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 1128 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1237 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $728,317 of utility $119 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 19 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Jummyy | 56% | 16 |
| #2 | Master Frappe | 56% | 41 |
| #3 | Glizzy Goblin | 56% | 50 |
| #4 | Floobis | 53% | 19 |
| #5 | Kirb | 51% | 45 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #7 | 19k | 46% | 71 |
| #8 | son_of_leonidas_ | 46% | 111 |
| #9 | Dark Rose | 40% | 15 |
| #10 | TLF Mr Sandman | 33% | 15 |
| #11 | y0Shi | 30% | 46 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | son_of_leonidas_ | 22 | 0.0097 |
| #2 | Master Frappe | 18 | 0.0210 |
| #3 | Glizzy Goblin | 6 | 0.0056 |
| #4 | Kirb | 6 | 0.0063 |
| #5 | y0Shi | 5 | 0.0049 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | son_of_leonidas_ | 158 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #2 | Master Frappe | 113 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #3 | y0Shi | 81 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| #4 | Glizzy Goblin | 56 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #5 | 19k | 37 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Master Frappe | +1.78 | 34 | 48 |
| #2 | Jummyy | +1.43 | 45 | 48 |
| #3 | Kirb | +0.73 | 52 | 26 |
| #4 | MR.GRIM | +0.19 | 44 | 43 |
| #5 | son_of_leonidas_ | -0.04 | 32 | 42 |





