










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 730 matches | ||
| Wingman | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 17 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




66 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6969 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 24,075 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6875 | 29% |
| Smokes | 8113 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 7093 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 1994 | 8% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,332,099 of utility $136 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 671 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | james johnson jr. | 55% | 110 |
| #2 | Bungus | 55% | 89 |
| #3 | Sire | 47% | 142 |
| #4 | (FPL)DolceV | 47% | 111 |
| #5 | DeviousBallFondler | 45% | 44 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sire | 586 | 0.19 | 18 min |
| #2 | james johnson jr. | 380 | 0.16 | 9 min |
| #3 | Bungus | 284 | 0.15 | 7 min |
| #4 | (FPL)DolceV | 233 | 0.10 | 7 min |
| #5 | DeviousBallFondler | 76 | 0.08 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | james johnson jr. | +3.53 | 78 | 58 |
| #2 | Bungus | +1.96 | 73 | 57 |
| #3 | DeviousBallFondler | +1.83 | 78 | 32 |
| #4 | (FPL)DolceV | +0.42 | 59 | 44 |
| #5 | Sire | +0.19 | 63 | 51 |





