










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 623 matches | ||
| Faceit | 79 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 6 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Golden | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 82 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




34 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5628 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 33,176 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 7614 | 23% |
| Smokes | 10270 | 31% |
| HE Grenades | 7219 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 8073 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,454,809 of utility $192 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 291 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 0M4N 🌏 | 19 | 0.0096 |
| #2 | ʙʏᴍ-R S I | 10 | 0.0064 |
| #3 | ✪ Minato.Sensei - | 8 | 0.0068 |
| #4 | Soft Nipples | 7 | 0.0053 |
| #5 | 千丨丂ㄩ卂尺 | 4 | 0.0029 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 0M4N 🌏 | 264 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #2 | 千丨丂ㄩ卂尺 | 184 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #3 | ʙʏᴍ-R S I | 156 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #4 | ✪ Minato.Sensei - | 151 | 0.13 | 4 min |
| #5 | Soft Nipples | 132 | 0.10 | 3 min |





