








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 156 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 212 matches | ||
| Wingman | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




98 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2510 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,254 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2959 | 36% |
| Smokes | 1717 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 1845 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 1733 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $615,039 of utility $92 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 269 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Johnny Tsunami | 53% | 49 |
| #2 | F R N | 48% | 196 |
| #3 | YaoMing300Ping | 48% | 102 |
| #4 | 33 | 43% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Johnny Tsunami | 53% | 49 |
| #2 | F R N | 48% | 196 |
| #3 | YaoMing300Ping | 48% | 102 |
| #4 | 33 | 43% | 23 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | F R N | 14 | 0.0034 |
| #2 | YaoMing300Ping | 12 | 0.0055 |
| #3 | 33 | 5 | 0.0110 |
| #4 | Johnny Tsunami | 4 | 0.0038 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | F R N | 543 | 0.13 | 12 min |
| #2 | Johnny Tsunami | 101 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| #3 | 33 | 34 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| #4 | YaoMing300Ping | 23 | 0.01 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Johnny Tsunami | +1.73 | 77 | 46 |
| #2 | YaoMing300Ping | +1.51 | 53 | 34 |
| #3 | F R N | +1.04 | 46 | 60 |
| #4 | Gigipapa | -0.79 | 57 | 51 |
| #5 | 33 | -1.96 | 31 | 39 |





