








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 77 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Premier | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




47 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
963 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,095 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 905 | 43% |
| Smokes | 333 | 16% |
| HE Grenades | 427 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 430 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $249,976 of utility $166 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1426 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bombardiro Crocodilo | 67% | 9 |
| #2 | PJieter | 60% | 5 |
| #3 | Kissalle jarrusukat | 50% | 6 |
| #4 | Worsteverseen | 27% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bombardiro Crocodilo | 67% | 9 |
| #2 | PJieter | 60% | 5 |
| #3 | Kissalle jarrusukat | 50% | 6 |
| #4 | Worsteverseen | 27% | 11 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Worsteverseen | 7 | 0.0340 |
| #2 | Bombardiro Crocodilo | 2 | 0.0137 |
| #3 | PJieter | 2 | 0.0222 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bombardiro Crocodilo | 20 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #2 | Kissalle jarrusukat | 15 | 0.12 | 0 min |
| #3 | Worsteverseen | 14 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| #4 | PJieter | 11 | 0.12 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Musta Mustanaamio | +2.35 | 83 | 53 |
| #2 | Bombardiro Crocodilo | +1.33 | 77 | 53 |
| #3 | Kissalle jarrusukat | -1.11 | 47 | 52 |
| #4 | PJieter | -1.41 | 49 | 24 |
| #5 | Worsteverseen | -6.28 | 23 | 25 |





