








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 415 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 290 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 114 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 73 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 32 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 14 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




105 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6420 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 18,829 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6177 | 33% |
| Smokes | 6291 | 33% |
| HE Grenades | 3543 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 2818 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $665,369 of utility $46 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 386 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Andriy_17 UA | 28 | 0.0083 |
| #2 | nxl> ❥ADA W0NGツ🌸 | 16 | 0.0114 |
| #3 | Ara | 14 | 0.0094 |
| #4 | Loaffey. | 9 | 0.0133 |
| #5 | America ya! :D | 6 | 0.0020 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ara | 351 | 0.23 | 5 min |
| #2 | Andriy_17 UA | 138 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| #3 | America ya! :D | 137 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| #4 | SKEPTA | 127 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #5 | Loaffey. | 108 | 0.16 | 2 min |





