










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 103 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 111 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




19 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1330 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,133 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 762 | 24% |
| Smokes | 682 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 727 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 962 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $410,971 of utility $128 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 36 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Penthius | 79% | 19 |
| #2 | ᴹᴿ 𝕁𝔻 | 56% | 32 |
| #3 | Claudius Claudianus | 56% | 73 |
| #4 | spx /n/ | 54% | 26 |
| #5 | RCON Flukeu | 50% | 10 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Aansteker | 6 | 0.0062 |
| #2 | Claudius Claudianus | 5 | 0.0033 |
| #3 | B0ttemB0T psykic | 5 | 0.0066 |
| #4 | Meep | 2 | 0.0103 |
| #5 | RCON Flukeu | 2 | 0.0125 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Claudius Claudianus | 196 | 0.13 | 5 min |
| #2 | spx /n/ | 137 | 0.24 | 4 min |
| #3 | Aansteker | 136 | 0.14 | 4 min |
| #4 | Z𝖊m𝖊✘ ❤ ᴳᵒᵈ 10 | 114 | 0.17 | 3 min |
| #5 | B0ttemB0T psykic | 107 | 0.14 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | RCON Flukeu | +5.63 | 87 | 49 |
| #2 | Penthius | +2.80 | 76 | 63 |
| #3 | Meep | +1.87 | 77 | 72 |
| #4 | Aansteker | +1.75 | 87 | 64 |
| #5 | spx /n/ | +1.38 | 78 | 76 |





