








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1004 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 678 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 12 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 98 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




61 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8171 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 23,694 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9919 | 42% |
| Smokes | 6190 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 4246 | 18% |
| Molotovs | 3339 | 14% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,056,234 of utility $131 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1035 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tony | 54% | 423 |
| #2 | Rebbs | 52% | 510 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tony | 54% | 423 |
| #2 | Rebbs | 52% | 510 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Rebbs | 55 | 0.0051 |
| #2 | tony | 43 | 0.0048 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | tony | 1620 | 0.18 | 37 min |
| #2 | Rebbs | 865 | 0.08 | 25 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Flack0 | +1.45 | 71 | 63 |
| #2 | Rebbs | -0.21 | 70 | 51 |
| #3 | tony | -0.40 | 64 | 63 |





