








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 582 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 568 matches | ||
| Faceit | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show 83 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




61 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
5621 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 23,030 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5604 | 24% |
| Smokes | 5833 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 6308 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 5285 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,540,891 of utility $113 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1766 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PaPPa Laittaa | 45% | 119 |
| #2 | Mika Hirvi | 44% | 138 |
| #3 | Spude | 42% | 182 |
| #4 | Huorapukki | 40% | 110 |
| #5 | |tansiva| MILFhunter | 37% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | PaPPa Laittaa | 45% | 119 |
| #2 | Mika Hirvi | 44% | 138 |
| #3 | Spude | 42% | 182 |
| #4 | Huorapukki | 40% | 110 |
| #5 | |tansiva| MILFhunter | 37% | 38 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Spude | 25 | 0.0068 |
| #2 | Huorapukki | 7 | 0.0031 |
| #3 | PaPPa Laittaa | 4 | 0.0016 |
| #4 | Mika Hirvi | 2 | 0.0007 |
| #5 | |tansiva| MILFhunter | 1 | 0.0013 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Spude | 400 | 0.11 | 8 min |
| #2 | Huorapukki | 325 | 0.14 | 9 min |
| #3 | PaPPa Laittaa | 163 | 0.07 | 4 min |
| #4 | Mika Hirvi | 119 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #5 | |tansiva| MILFhunter | 49 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Mika Hirvi | +0.88 | 67 | 46 |
| #2 | kakle | -0.12 | 57 | 58 |
| #3 | PaPPa Laittaa | -0.82 | 48 | 65 |
| #4 | Spude | -1.20 | 53 | 55 |
| #5 | |tansiva| MILFhunter | -1.69 | 20 | 35 |





