










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 172 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 96 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 79 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 22 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




14 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3637 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,338 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1726 | 21% |
| Smokes | 4378 | 53% |
| HE Grenades | 1243 | 15% |
| Molotovs | 991 | 12% |
Our logs show you have wasted $213,540 of utility $20 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 389 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Death Monarch â | 72% | 68 |
| #2 | ABDUL | 70% | 81 |
| #3 | Sparrow | 64% | 45 |
| #4 | ððð©ðâ | 63% | 30 |
| #5 | _Gåãã©ã¥_ | 61% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ABDUL | 11 | 0.0068 |
| #2 | Death Monarch â | 5 | 0.0039 |
| #3 | _Gåãã©ã¥_ | 4 | 0.0055 |
| #4 | sn1f3rt | 3 | 0.0045 |
| #5 | Stifler | 3 | 0.0046 |





