








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2036 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 1028 matches | ||
| Wingman | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 179 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




56 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8222 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 25,057 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 4258 | 17% |
| Smokes | 5968 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 7861 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 6970 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,792,194 of utility $166 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1083 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #5 | Lemyy | 52% | 223 |
| #6 | ( ° ͜ʖ͡°)Ɑ͞ ̶͞ ̶͞ ﻝﮞSoup | 51% | 61 |
| #7 | Kosssu_1 | 51% | 243 |
| #8 | Nelhander | 50% | 308 |
| #9 | Tume | 46% | 143 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Kosssu_1 | 23 | 0.0045 |
| #2 | Lemyy | 10 | 0.0022 |
| #3 | Nelhander | 9 | 0.0014 |
| #4 | Ɑ͞ ̶͞ ̶͞ ﻝﮞ, •ᴮᴬᴰʙᴏʏツ | 8 | 0.0040 |
| #5 | Esmeralda | 6 | 0.0027 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Lemyy | 273 | 0.06 | 8 min |
| #2 | Nelhander | 257 | 0.04 | 6 min |
| #3 | Kosssu_1 | 200 | 0.04 | 4 min |
| #4 | ( ° ͜ʖ͡°)Ɑ͞ ̶͞ ̶͞ ﻝﮞSoup | 127 | 0.10 | 3 min |
| #5 | Ɑ͞ ̶͞ ̶͞ ﻝﮞ, •ᴮᴬᴰʙᴏʏツ | 106 | 0.05 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ( ° ͜ʖ͡°)Ɑ͞ ̶͞ ̶͞ ﻝﮞSoup | +8.25 | 84 | 63 |
| #2 | Lemyy | +4.47 | 67 | 66 |
| #3 | Ɑ͞ ̶͞ ̶͞ ﻝﮞ, •ᴮᴬᴰʙᴏʏツ | +1.02 | 47 | 57 |
| #4 | Hettis | +0.08 | 42 | 45 |
| #5 | Kosssu_1 | -1.26 | 29 | 42 |





