










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1279 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 262 matches | ||
| Wingman | 145 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 67 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




35 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4091 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,512 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2133 | 25% |
| Smokes | 1972 | 23% |
| HE Grenades | 2446 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 1961 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,447,903 of utility $184 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 259 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JoWe | 49% | 74 |
| #2 | durchfallmann9 | 48% | 297 |
| #3 | Hui | 46% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | JoWe | 49% | 74 |
| #2 | durchfallmann9 | 48% | 297 |
| #3 | Hui | 46% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | durchfallmann9 | 48 | 0.0090 |
| #2 | JoWe | 9 | 0.0064 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | durchfallmann9 | 138 | 0.03 | 3 min |
| #2 | Hui | 106 | 0.19 | 2 min |
| #3 | JoWe | 55 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hui | +4.09 | 74 | 60 |
| #2 | Percival | +1.75 | 63 | 47 |
| #3 | durchfallmann9 | -0.41 | 46 | 27 |
| #4 | JoWe | -1.58 | 69 | 33 |





