








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 896 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 153 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 86 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 62 matches | ||
| Wingman | 50 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 41 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 39 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Faceit | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 19 different maps





Our logs show 72 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




41 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4659 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,241 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2838 | 23% |
| Smokes | 4231 | 35% |
| HE Grenades | 3853 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 1319 | 11% |
Our logs show you have wasted $814,098 of utility $63 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 812 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Eto'o | 56% | 354 |
| #2 | kero | 56% | 264 |
| #3 | SemihOG | 52% | 365 |
| #4 | alidachen<3 | 49% | 93 |
| #5 | okero | 46% | 52 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Eto'o | 56% | 354 |
| #2 | kero | 56% | 264 |
| #3 | SemihOG | 52% | 365 |
| #4 | alidachen<3 | 49% | 93 |
| #5 | okero | 46% | 52 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kero | 43 | 0.0081 |
| #2 | SemihOG | 29 | 0.0040 |
| #3 | alidachen<3 | 19 | 0.0101 |
| #4 | Eto'o | 18 | 0.0027 |
| #5 | okero | 6 | 0.0057 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Eto'o | 713 | 0.11 | 14 min |
| #2 | kero | 629 | 0.12 | 14 min |
| #3 | alidachen<3 | 464 | 0.25 | 11 min |
| #4 | SemihOG | 398 | 0.05 | 9 min |
| #5 | okero | 136 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kero | +7.13 | 88 | 52 |
| #2 | Senko | -0.14 | 34 | 42 |
| #3 | okero | -0.68 | 51 | 41 |
| #4 | SemihOG | -0.71 | 44 | 41 |
| #5 | Eto'o | -1.42 | 43 | 51 |





