








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 61 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September


The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 104 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 26 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 13 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




85 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1878 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 3,252 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1171 | 36% |
| Smokes | 287 | 9% |
| HE Grenades | 984 | 30% |
| Molotovs | 810 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $367,635 of utility $78 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 57 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CorneliusNubston | 68% | 28 |
| #2 | Niko_Valo | 65% | 23 |
| #3 | StarzOVA | 63% | 56 |
| #4 | Yappy2032 | 47% | 179 |
| #5 | Κεραυνός | 46% | 41 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CorneliusNubston | 68% | 28 |
| #2 | Niko_Valo | 65% | 23 |
| #3 | StarzOVA | 63% | 56 |
| #4 | Yappy2032 | 47% | 179 |
| #5 | Κεραυνός | 46% | 41 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yappy2032 | 35 | 0.0114 |
| #2 | StarzOVA | 7 | 0.0075 |
| #3 | Κεραυνός | 6 | 0.0080 |
| #4 | CorneliusNubston | 2 | 0.0037 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Yappy2032 | 193 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #2 | StarzOVA | 53 | 0.06 | 2 min |
| #3 | Κεραυνός | 28 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #4 | CorneliusNubston | 26 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #5 | Niko_Valo | 22 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | StarzOVA | +5.20 | 95 | 24 |
| #2 | Κεραυνός | +2.82 | 34 | 32 |
| #3 | Completed it M8 | +1.72 | 40 | 33 |
| #4 | CorneliusNubston | -1.15 | 7 | 31 |
| #5 | Niko_Valo | -2.13 | 8 | 27 |





