








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1265 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 869 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 18 matches | ||
| Wingman | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




151 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
8290 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 12,583 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3034 | 24% |
| Smokes | 5518 | 44% |
| HE Grenades | 2162 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 1869 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,126,377 of utility $155 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 682 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | joko | 53% | 169 |
| #2 | RestoredForeskin CDM | 50% | 109 |
| #3 | 1/2 soup 1/2 sandwich | 44% | 236 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | joko | 53% | 169 |
| #2 | RestoredForeskin CDM | 50% | 109 |
| #3 | 1/2 soup 1/2 sandwich | 44% | 236 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 1/2 soup 1/2 sandwich | 33 | 0.0067 |
| #2 | RestoredForeskin CDM | 32 | 0.0145 |
| #3 | joko | 20 | 0.0056 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | joko | 101 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| #2 | 1/2 soup 1/2 sandwich | 79 | 0.02 | 2 min |
| #3 | RestoredForeskin CDM | 68 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | joko | +0.60 | 44 | 32 |
| #2 | OsamaSon | +0.30 | 48 | 33 |
| #3 | 1/2 soup 1/2 sandwich | -1.30 | 21 | 13 |
| #4 | RestoredForeskin CDM | -1.83 | 21 | 21 |





