








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 2971 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 518 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 283 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 231 matches | ||
| Faceit | 160 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 149 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 136 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 88 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 71 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 47 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 45 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 260 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




153 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
22156 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 73,469 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 17515 | 24% |
| Smokes | 19936 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 19526 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 16492 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,866,542 of utility $77 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 2875 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | Culture ✪ | 59% | 411 |
| #4 | ratmage | 57% | 421 |
| #5 | Beercules | 53% | 716 |
| #6 | Hanosandy | 51% | 232 |
| #7 | funbar | 51% | 309 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Culture ✪ | 28 | 0.0033 |
| #2 | ratmage | 19 | 0.0021 |
| #3 | funbar | 16 | 0.0026 |
| #4 | P_anik | 11 | 0.0021 |
| #5 | Hanosandy | 11 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Culture ✪ | 1175 | 0.14 | 24 min |
| #2 | Beercules | 1025 | 0.07 | 23 min |
| #3 | funbar | 997 | 0.16 | 22 min |
| #4 | ratmage | 920 | 0.10 | 22 min |
| #5 | P_anik | 521 | 0.10 | 11 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | IamNotASmurf | +3.96 | 81 | 68 |
| #2 | ratmage | +1.86 | 75 | 58 |
| #3 | P_anik | +0.80 | 70 | 60 |
| #4 | Beercules | -0.75 | 67 | 65 |
| #5 | funbar | -1.03 | 57 | 62 |





