








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 16 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 1 Chicken Has been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
376 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 880 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 326 | 37% |
| Smokes | 197 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 203 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 154 | 18% |
Our logs show you have wasted $74,791 of utility $157 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 124 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | vasova | 100% | 2 |
| #2 | makkepuu | 75% | 4 |
| #3 | syntaxe | 75% | 8 |
| #4 | k1mmeistr | 67% | 9 |
| #5 | Poksoni | 67% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | vasova | 100% | 2 |
| #2 | makkepuu | 75% | 4 |
| #3 | syntaxe | 75% | 8 |
| #4 | k1mmeistr | 67% | 9 |
| #5 | Poksoni | 67% | 18 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Poksoni | 3 | 0.0075 |
| #2 | k1mmeistr | 2 | 0.0100 |
| #3 | syntaxe | 1 | 0.0056 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | k1mmeistr | 62 | 0.31 | 2 min |
| #2 | Poksoni | 55 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #3 | makkepuu | 19 | 0.22 | 0 min |
| #4 | syntaxe | 15 | 0.08 | 0 min |
| #5 | vasova | 5 | 0.13 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ✺AksuL✺ | +9.47 | 93 | 59 |
| #2 | vasova | +3.61 | 32 | 42 |
| #3 | makkepuu | +3.38 | 21 | 69 |
| #4 | k1mmeistr | -0.54 | 41 | 68 |
| #5 | syntaxe | -3.72 | 16 | 57 |





