








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 427 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September



The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 444 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




26 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2829 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 15,164 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2175 | 14% |
| Smokes | 6026 | 40% |
| HE Grenades | 3366 | 22% |
| Molotovs | 3597 | 24% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,947,612 of utility $165 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 182 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MC Quizine | 58% | 33 |
| #2 | adam | 56% | 98 |
| #3 | JEDNODÍRKA | 53% | 57 |
| #4 | joint | 51% | 130 |
| #5 | kmb | 49% | 248 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | シャチ | 35 | 0.0030 |
| #2 | adam | 11 | 0.0050 |
| #3 | Akulousek | 8 | 0.0080 |
| #4 | joint | 7 | 0.0025 |
| #5 | TondusG | 6 | 0.0019 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | シャチ | 1232 | 0.10 | 32 min |
| #2 | kmb | 645 | 0.12 | 11 min |
| #3 | adam | 401 | 0.18 | 9 min |
| #4 | TondusG | 388 | 0.12 | 10 min |
| #5 | miquel | 199 | 0.14 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Akulousek | +3.65 | 85 | 72 |
| #2 | シャチ | +3.55 | 90 | 53 |
| #3 | adam | +2.01 | 66 | 58 |
| #4 | XODE. | +0.82 | 58 | 42 |
| #5 | JEDNODÍRKA | -0.06 | 64 | 58 |





