








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1227 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Wingman | 287 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 282 matches | ||
| Premier | 246 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 78 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 60 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 27 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches | ||
| Faceit | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 21 different maps





Our logs show 16 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




221 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6554 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 28,735 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6934 | 24% |
| Smokes | 7877 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 6578 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 7346 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $983,957 of utility $50 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1917 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | h£nppa | 48% | 584 |
| #2 | TesticularTorsion | 38% | 97 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | h£nppa | 48% | 584 |
| #2 | TesticularTorsion | 38% | 97 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | h£nppa | 133 | 0.0130 |
| #2 | TesticularTorsion | 49 | 0.0275 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | h£nppa | 2010 | 0.20 | 42 min |
| #2 | TesticularTorsion | 319 | 0.18 | 5 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | h£nppa | +3.47 | 77 | 66 |
| #2 | Uncle Joe | -0.71 | 36 | 47 |
| #3 | TesticularTorsion | -1.23 | 29 | 55 |





