








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 13 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 7 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
689 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,420 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 874 | 36% |
| Smokes | 775 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 690 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 81 | 3% |
Our logs show you have wasted $120,296 of utility $77 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1 message into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | エクササイダー | 46 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #2 | Vicodoz | 43 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #3 | 𝙍𝙄𝙋 𝙆𝙯𝙤 | 31 | 0.07 | 1 min |
| #4 | "mLc® 13 y.o CS.ARMY | 26 | 0.13 | 0 min |
| #5 | ☁Para☂Tonnerre☁😈 | 18 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Vicodoz | +4.19 | 81 | 64 |
| #2 | cnd | +3.66 | 94 | 32 |
| #3 | Pleco | +1.49 | 55 | 34 |
| #4 | Noera | +1.12 | 59 | 49 |
| #5 | "mLc® 13 y.o CS.ARMY | +1.04 | 73 | 47 |





