








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 303 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 107 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 61 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 28 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 21 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 13 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 11 matches | ||
| Faceit | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 27 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




63 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3617 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,240 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1960 | 31% |
| Smokes | 1865 | 30% |
| HE Grenades | 1632 | 26% |
| Molotovs | 783 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,323,685 of utility $166 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 372 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | momeater08 | 52% | 65 |
| #4 | Potato Salad | 45% | 107 |
| #5 | Haze | 44% | 122 |
| #6 | vexsy | 39% | 28 |
| #7 | GodsDrunkestDriver | 39% | 72 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Haze | 237 | 0.10 | 5 min |
| #2 | Potato Salad | 140 | 0.06 | 3 min |
| #3 | momeater08 | 111 | 0.08 | 3 min |
| #4 | Leo | 73 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #5 | GodsDrunkestDriver | 72 | 0.05 | 2 min |





