








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 218 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 28 matches | ||
| Wingman | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




2 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
838 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,620 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 340 | 21% |
| Smokes | 434 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 346 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 500 | 31% |
Our logs show you have wasted $235,387 of utility $133 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 6 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Stainly | 80% | 5 |
| #2 | Pixel | 58% | 26 |
| #3 | smz | 52% | 21 |
| #4 | Lasse | 49% | 41 |
| #5 | SCHMIDTYY | 44% | 36 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #3 | smz | 52% | 21 |
| #4 | Lasse | 49% | 41 |
| #5 | SCHMIDTYY | 44% | 36 |
| #6 | HΛÐΞS | 14% | 7 |
| #7 | » JᵘЯᵃ | 14% | 7 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SCHMIDTYY | 6 | 0.0082 |
| #2 | smz | 2 | 0.0054 |
| #3 | Lasse | 1 | 0.0013 |
| #4 | Pixel | 1 | 0.0020 |
| #5 | Stainly | 1 | 0.0094 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SCHMIDTYY | 147 | 0.20 | 4 min |
| #2 | Lasse | 95 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #3 | smz | 60 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #4 | Pixel | 25 | 0.05 | 1 min |
| #5 | HΛÐΞS | 23 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Sonos | +2.27 | 77 | 40 |
| #2 | smz | -0.01 | 84 | 54 |
| #3 | Lasse | -0.09 | 73 | 57 |
| #4 | SCHMIDTYY | -1.23 | 63 | 74 |
| #5 | HΛÐΞS | -1.45 | 74 | 70 |





