








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 40 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 98 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show 2 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




0 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Your loyalty is impressive.
856 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,528 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 545 | 22% |
| Smokes | 735 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 291 | 12% |
| Molotovs | 957 | 38% |
Our logs show you have wasted $465,213 of utility $172 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 25 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AbSyN | 80% | 15 |
| #2 | ZaphireZA | 54% | 48 |
| #3 | SpennY | 50% | 8 |
| #4 | Onbekende | 47% | 15 |
| #5 | Xstrooier | 42% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | ZaphireZA | 54% | 48 |
| #3 | SpennY | 50% | 8 |
| #4 | Onbekende | 47% | 15 |
| #5 | Xstrooier | 42% | 12 |
| #6 | Choppa_Herrlof | 38% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ZaphireZA | 5 | 0.0049 |
| #2 | Onbekende | 1 | 0.0031 |
| #3 | AbSyN | 1 | 0.0031 |
| #4 | Choppa_Herrlof | 1 | 0.0057 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Onbekende | 55 | 0.17 | 2 min |
| #2 | ZaphireZA | 38 | 0.04 | 1 min |
| #3 | AbSyN | 34 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #4 | Choppa_Herrlof | 28 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #5 | SpennY | 19 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | AbSyN | +4.09 | 48 | 67 |
| #2 | ZaphireZA | +2.81 | 71 | 43 |
| #3 | Onbekende | +1.52 | 75 | 70 |
| #4 | SpennY | +1.47 | 53 | 53 |
| #5 | Xstrooier | +0.53 | 29 | 51 |





