








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1706 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 327 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 321 matches | ||
| Competitive Agency | 142 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 136 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 92 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 54 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Golden | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Edin | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Basalt | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 18 different maps





Our logs show 146 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




351 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
10423 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 38,040 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 11541 | 30% |
| Smokes | 9310 | 24% |
| HE Grenades | 9492 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 7697 | 20% |
Our logs show you have wasted $2,813,198 of utility $112 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 878 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cazz | 54% | 140 |
| #2 | (λ) mykxy | 54% | 934 |
| #3 | (λ) HELIOS | 53% | 291 |
| #4 | Yuozua | 49% | 75 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Cazz | 54% | 140 |
| #2 | (λ) mykxy | 54% | 934 |
| #3 | (λ) HELIOS | 53% | 291 |
| #4 | Yuozua | 49% | 75 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | (λ) mykxy | 52 | 0.0028 |
| #2 | Cazz | 38 | 0.0133 |
| #3 | (λ) HELIOS | 18 | 0.0031 |
| #4 | Yuozua | 6 | 0.0040 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | (λ) mykxy | 3523 | 0.19 | 67 min |
| #2 | (λ) HELIOS | 502 | 0.09 | 13 min |
| #3 | Cazz | 325 | 0.11 | 8 min |
| #4 | Yuozua | 147 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | UNLUKO^^ Sexylama1 | +3.05 | 49 | 48 |
| #2 | Cazz | +1.60 | 44 | 67 |
| #3 | Yuozua | +0.24 | 33 | 34 |
| #4 | (λ) mykxy | -0.05 | 28 | 55 |
| #5 | (λ) HELIOS | -1.24 | 24 | 52 |





