








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 833 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 407 matches | ||
| Premier | 346 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 102 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 29 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 5 matches | ||
| Faceit | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 98 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




106 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
6190 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 26,604 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 8011 | 30% |
| Smokes | 5649 | 21% |
| HE Grenades | 5530 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 7414 | 28% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,706,644 of utility $79 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 340 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | cynx- | 57% | 67 |
| #2 | Nissan GT-R R35 nismo | 53% | 72 |
| #3 | Astral | 53% | 76 |
| #4 | Dekowy0011 | 48% | 157 |
| #5 | danonek2012 ON FIRE | 44% | 349 |





