








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 884 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 952 matches | ||
| Wingman | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 1 match | ||
| Faceit | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 36 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




156 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
10176 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 26,597 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 9520 | 36% |
| Smokes | 7609 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 4448 | 17% |
| Molotovs | 5020 | 19% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,112,750 of utility $145 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 642 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | anti de sitter matter-1 | 59% | 99 |
| #2 | Scourge | 56% | 55 |
| #3 | t0ndU^takL@ | 51% | 214 |
| #4 | xGamerChamp_ | 50% | 118 |
| #5 | DEFuser_47 | 48% | 52 |





