








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 187 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 130 matches | ||
| Wingman | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 17 matches | ||
| Faceit | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 9 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




35 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
1425 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,158 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 503 | 12% |
| Smokes | 1630 | 39% |
| HE Grenades | 937 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 1088 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $673,796 of utility $148 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 47 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dictatorzzz | 71% | 17 |
| #2 | Bingo | 61% | 23 |
| #3 | Køpz | 55% | 95 |
| #4 | Auh | 52% | 33 |
| #5 | sTul1p | 50% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Dictatorzzz | 71% | 17 |
| #2 | Bingo | 61% | 23 |
| #3 | Køpz | 55% | 95 |
| #4 | Auh | 52% | 33 |
| #5 | sTul1p | 50% | 22 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Bingo | 5 | 0.0116 |
| #2 | Køpz | 4 | 0.0023 |
| #3 | Auh | 3 | 0.0047 |
| #4 | Dictatorzzz | 2 | 0.0065 |
| #5 | sTul1p | 1 | 0.0024 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Køpz | 122 | 0.07 | 2 min |
| #2 | Auh | 84 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #3 | Bingo | 77 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #4 | sTul1p | 57 | 0.14 | 1 min |
| #5 | Dictatorzzz | 12 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | sTul1p | +2.72 | 73 | 53 |
| #2 | Bingo | +2.61 | 71 | 50 |
| #3 | Dictatorzzz | +2.27 | 48 | 21 |
| #4 | Auh | +0.70 | 58 | 46 |
| #5 | Tal1paanos | +0.32 | 36 | 30 |





