








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 11 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Nuke | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




7 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
685 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 398 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 283 | 71% |
| Smokes | 23 | 6% |
| HE Grenades | 33 | 8% |
| Molotovs | 59 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $141,289 of utility $117 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 377 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | big gulp | 91% | 11 |
| #2 | copelow | 40% | 5 |
| #3 | wii | 39% | 31 |
| #4 | kibtty :3 | 33% | 6 |
| #5 | Pina | 25% | 8 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | copelow | 40% | 5 |
| #3 | wii | 39% | 31 |
| #4 | kibtty :3 | 33% | 6 |
| #5 | Pina | 25% | 8 |
| #6 | Metal Hurts To Punch | 15% | 13 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | wii | 9 | 0.0162 |
| #2 | copelow | 3 | 0.0345 |
| #3 | kibtty :3 | 2 | 0.0175 |
| #4 | big gulp | 1 | 0.0049 |
| #5 | Pina | 1 | 0.0066 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Metal Hurts To Punch | 13 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| #2 | copelow | 13 | 0.15 | 0 min |
| #3 | kibtty :3 | 8 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| #4 | big gulp | 7 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| #5 | wii | 5 | 0.01 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | big gulp | +7.66 | 99 | 16 |
| #2 | ryu | +3.43 | 76 | 23 |
| #3 | Metal Hurts To Punch | +0.30 | 35 | 27 |
| #4 | wii | -1.03 | 46 | 9 |
| #5 | copelow | -1.87 | 63 | 25 |





