










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 315 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 271 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 98 matches | ||
| Wingman | 31 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 14 different maps





Our logs show 19 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




45 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3898 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 7,966 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1425 | 18% |
| Smokes | 2578 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 2631 | 33% |
| Molotovs | 1332 | 17% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,522,189 of utility $163 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 179 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Beercules | 53% | 76 |
| #2 | InfertileTurtle | 44% | 169 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Beercules | 53% | 76 |
| #2 | InfertileTurtle | 44% | 169 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Beercules | 10 | 0.0073 |
| #2 | InfertileTurtle | 8 | 0.0025 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | InfertileTurtle | 163 | 0.05 | 4 min |
| #2 | Beercules | 42 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Hache | +3.18 | 65 | 55 |
| #2 | InfertileTurtle | -3.55 | 26 | 35 |
| #3 | Beercules | -4.18 | 19 | 24 |





