










System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 0 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.

| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 94 matches | ||
| Faceit | 49 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 3 matches | ||
| Wingman | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




33 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2487 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,570 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2082 | 37% |
| Smokes | 1441 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1320 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 727 | 13% |
Our logs show you have wasted $446,364 of utility $108 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 99 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CEMEN_BAKIN | 91% | 11 |
| #2 | salme | 88% | 16 |
| #3 | Gabijobi | 85% | 13 |
| #4 | 300KG PENIS | 82% | 11 |
| #5 | Harvey Specter | 43% | 35 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | salme | 88% | 16 |
| #3 | Gabijobi | 85% | 13 |
| #4 | 300KG PENIS | 82% | 11 |
| #5 | Harvey Specter | 43% | 35 |
| #6 | Milo | 40% | 15 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | salme | 14 | 0.0491 |
| #2 | Harvey Specter | 5 | 0.0068 |
| #3 | Milo | 5 | 0.0159 |
| #4 | 300KG PENIS | 5 | 0.0216 |
| #5 | CEMEN_BAKIN | 5 | 0.0311 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Harvey Specter | 79 | 0.11 | 2 min |
| #2 | Gabijobi | 42 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| #3 | salme | 37 | 0.13 | 1 min |
| #4 | 300KG PENIS | 35 | 0.15 | 0 min |
| #5 | Milo | 34 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | CEMEN_BAKIN | +7.04 | 98 | 32 |
| #2 | salme | +6.36 | 91 | 40 |
| #3 | Milo | +3.04 | 72 | 46 |
| #4 | avg estonian | +1.86 | 63 | 48 |
| #5 | 300KG PENIS | +0.95 | 83 | 17 |





