








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 55 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 239 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 15 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




12 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2488 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 4,463 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 405 | 9% |
| Smokes | 1856 | 42% |
| HE Grenades | 1075 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 1127 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,248,584 of utility $208 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 267 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Zel | 47% | 30 |
| #2 | Daredevil | 46% | 89 |
| #3 | Memnoch Prime | 44% | 79 |
| #4 | Antispin | 42% | 26 |
| #5 | The Monk | 38% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Daredevil | 46% | 89 |
| #3 | Memnoch Prime | 44% | 79 |
| #4 | Antispin | 42% | 26 |
| #5 | The Monk | 38% | 26 |
| #6 | Baby_Bunny | 31% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Daredevil | 8 | 0.0044 |
| #2 | Memnoch Prime | 4 | 0.0025 |
| #3 | The Monk | 3 | 0.0052 |
| #4 | Baby_Bunny | 3 | 0.0055 |
| #5 | Zel | 1 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Daredevil | 457 | 0.25 | 8 min |
| #2 | Memnoch Prime | 64 | 0.04 | 2 min |
| #3 | Zel | 54 | 0.09 | 1 min |
| #4 | Antispin | 18 | 0.03 | 1 min |
| #5 | The Monk | 15 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Antispin | +3.79 | 54 | 55 |
| #2 | The Monk | +3.13 | 70 | 53 |
| #3 | Zel | +2.23 | 61 | 38 |
| #4 | JackimusZA | +0.19 | 48 | 34 |
| #5 | Daredevil | -2.78 | 10 | 47 |





