








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 435 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 671 matches | ||
| Wingman | 66 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 17 different maps





Our logs show 70 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




9 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
4718 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 24,649 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 6367 | 26% |
| Smokes | 6058 | 25% |
| HE Grenades | 7162 | 29% |
| Molotovs | 5062 | 21% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,923,828 of utility $122 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 549 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wachtmeister Nase | 56% | 211 |
| #2 | Counterbanana | 55% | 121 |
| #3 | 4NTii | 53% | 316 |
| #4 | sp1cy^ | 47% | 116 |
| #5 | ツ rEtr0_-- | 45% | 176 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Wachtmeister Nase | 56% | 211 |
| #2 | Counterbanana | 55% | 121 |
| #3 | 4NTii | 53% | 316 |
| #4 | sp1cy^ | 47% | 116 |
| #5 | ツ rEtr0_-- | 45% | 176 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 4NTii | 3 | 0.0004 |
| #2 | sp1cy^ | 3 | 0.0012 |
| #3 | ツ rEtr0_-- | 1 | 0.0003 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | 4NTii | 1190 | 0.17 | 29 min |
| #2 | Wachtmeister Nase | 526 | 0.12 | 12 min |
| #3 | Counterbanana | 510 | 0.19 | 14 min |
| #4 | ツ rEtr0_-- | 268 | 0.07 | 5 min |
| #5 | sp1cy^ | 81 | 0.03 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Counterbanana | +2.23 | 81 | 63 |
| #2 | 4NTii | +0.96 | 68 | 69 |
| #3 | b1z | +0.67 | 71 | 62 |
| #4 | sp1cy^ | +0.28 | 71 | 50 |
| #5 | Wachtmeister Nase | +0.13 | 70 | 65 |





