








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 450 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Faceit | 170 matches | ||
| Premier | 83 matches | ||
| Wingman | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 8 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




29 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2687 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,708 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1787 | 21% |
| Smokes | 2974 | 34% |
| HE Grenades | 1810 | 21% |
| Molotovs | 2137 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,363,136 of utility $206 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 245 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MARKJEE | 61% | 28 |
| #2 | ✌ AURORA ✌ | 61% | 28 |
| #3 | PimpStarrr™ | 59% | 17 |
| #4 | kaztró♔ | 50% | 28 |
| #5 | Pertti Kurikka | 46% | 26 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Name | 8 | 0.0220 |
| #2 | Pertti Kurikka | 2 | 0.0037 |
| #3 | MARKJEE | 1 | 0.0016 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | MARKJEE | 101 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #2 | Pertti Kurikka | 97 | 0.18 | 2 min |
| #3 | ✌ AURORA ✌ | 68 | 0.11 | 1 min |
| #4 | kaztró♔ | 66 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #5 | Name | 60 | 0.17 | 2 min |





