








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 22 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 16 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show 4 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
244 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 1,326 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 366 | 28% |
| Smokes | 360 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 310 | 23% |
| Molotovs | 290 | 22% |
Our logs show you have wasted $85,883 of utility $126 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 62 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xXx_CaptainJack_xXx | 67% | 6 |
| #2 | Hillsberger | 56% | 9 |
| #3 | MrGnarr | 50% | 4 |
| #4 | Screamdaboi | 50% | 26 |
| #5 | Wallhack_Cat | 33% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xXx_CaptainJack_xXx | 67% | 6 |
| #2 | Hillsberger | 56% | 9 |
| #3 | MrGnarr | 50% | 4 |
| #4 | Screamdaboi | 50% | 26 |
| #5 | Wallhack_Cat | 33% | 3 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Screamdaboi | 6 | 0.0102 |
| #2 | xXx_CaptainJack_xXx | 2 | 0.0163 |
| #3 | MrGnarr | 2 | 0.0235 |
| #4 | Hillsberger | 1 | 0.0053 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Screamdaboi | 21 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| #2 | Hillsberger | 9 | 0.05 | 0 min |
| #3 | xXx_CaptainJack_xXx | 7 | 0.06 | 0 min |
| #4 | MrGnarr | 6 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| #5 | Wallhack_Cat | 2 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | xXx_CaptainJack_xXx | +4.29 | 89 | 56 |
| #2 | MrGnarr | +3.40 | 87 | 56 |
| #3 | Hillsberger | +2.15 | 93 | 51 |
| #4 | KING ALPACA | +0.91 | 79 | 59 |
| #5 | Screamdaboi | -0.46 | 78 | 47 |





