








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 201 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Dust2 | 134 matches | ||
| Premier | 66 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 34 matches | ||
| Wingman | 33 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 11 different maps





Our logs show 18 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




31 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2171 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 5,516 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 825 | 15% |
| Smokes | 283 | 5% |
| HE Grenades | 2437 | 44% |
| Molotovs | 1971 | 36% |
Our logs show you have wasted $884,070 of utility $132 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 68 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | P3R4LT4 99 [BROKEN MOUSE] | 35 | 0.0247 |
| #2 | Ghita | 29 | 0.0434 |
| #3 | Mazino | 19 | 0.0196 |
| #4 | Jambo (IZZY) | 18 | 0.0095 |
| #5 | BIZIGA | 13 | 0.0160 |





