








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 231 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 132 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 23 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 20 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 17 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 13 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




35 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3418 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 11,638 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 3513 | 30% |
| Smokes | 3103 | 27% |
| HE Grenades | 2154 | 19% |
| Molotovs | 2868 | 25% |
Our logs show you have wasted $827,850 of utility $138 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1182 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #6 | CaptSkunker | 56% | 39 |
| #7 | SmuttyDog | 55% | 20 |
| #8 | bark arf uwu | 54% | 26 |
| #9 | Kasper | 50% | 38 |
| #10 | Mute 469 | 42% | 19 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ruki | 18 | 0.0170 |
| #2 | stoney | 6 | 0.0207 |
| #3 | Kasper | 3 | 0.0043 |
| #4 | CaptSkunker | 1 | 0.0013 |
| #5 | Geraldine Poon | 1 | 0.0014 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ruki | 192 | 0.18 | 4 min |
| #2 | CaptSkunker | 101 | 0.13 | 2 min |
| #3 | Kasper | 82 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #4 | Geraldine Poon | 64 | 0.09 | 3 min |
| #5 | SmuttyDog | 57 | 0.16 | 1 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Ruki | +4.96 | 83 | 57 |
| #2 | staggot | +4.17 | 75 | 70 |
| #3 | bark arf uwu | +0.15 | 74 | 25 |
| #4 | Raze | -0.89 | 70 | 54 |
| #5 | Mute 469 | -0.99 | 50 | 59 |





