








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 721 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 192 matches | ||
| Wingman | 89 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 12 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 8 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 3 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 12 different maps





Our logs show 41 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




31 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
3163 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 8,356 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 2162 | 26% |
| Smokes | 4228 | 51% |
| HE Grenades | 752 | 9% |
| Molotovs | 1214 | 15% |
Our logs show you have wasted $1,788,021 of utility $226 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 1996 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #17 | hdk4l4ke | 47% | 38 |
| #18 | Niiduk | 45% | 64 |
| #19 | Worst aim player | 45% | 38 |
| #20 | KarinParim | 44% | 34 |
| #21 | twitch.tv/trakninot | 31% | 29 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | ☂ Sͥteͣvͫe | 236 | 0.13 | 6 min |
| #2 | suslijk | 142 | 0.10 | 2 min |
| #3 | boTTom . | 128 | 0.13 | 3 min |
| #4 | hdk4l4ke | 90 | 0.12 | 1 min |
| #5 | Niiduk | 69 | 0.05 | 2 min |





