








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 383 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 216 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show 12 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




13 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2484 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,340 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 477 | 8% |
| Smokes | 2531 | 40% |
| HE Grenades | 1696 | 27% |
| Molotovs | 1636 | 26% |
Our logs show you have wasted $285,380 of utility $51 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 225 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Heart_Under_Blade | 71% | 17 |
| #2 | Kancerous | 65% | 43 |
| #3 | ~Staying CalmQAQ~ | 63% | 24 |
| #4 | NOVA✪ | 60% | 98 |
| #5 | ~Blair Graves~ | 60% | 20 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #9 | Kilaque | 53% | 19 |
| #10 | Resets | 52% | 21 |
| #11 | Pierre | 52% | 56 |
| #12 | DUCK | 44% | 18 |
| #13 | Strider | 42% | 26 |





