








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 6 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September
The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 93 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 10 matches | ||
| Faceit | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 8 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Grail | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Edin | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Office | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 15 different maps





Our logs show 3 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




50 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2606 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 6,240 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 1654 | 27% |
| Smokes | 1603 | 26% |
| HE Grenades | 1576 | 25% |
| Molotovs | 1407 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $588,897 of utility $128 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 0 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | SnailTrailSniffer | 36 | 0.0117 |
| #2 | bolipsim | 17 | 0.0159 |
| #3 | lucka | 5 | 0.0021 |
| #4 | arnold cheddar | 4 | 0.0036 |
| #5 | Renis | 3 | 0.0031 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | lucka | 299 | 0.13 | 8 min |
| #2 | arnold cheddar | 170 | 0.15 | 3 min |
| #3 | Renis | 143 | 0.15 | 4 min |
| #4 | SnailTrailSniffer | 116 | 0.04 | 3 min |
| #5 | Wardo 🌠 | 100 | 0.08 | 3 min |





