








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 88 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 24 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 14 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 10 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 7 matches | ||
| Wingman | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 4 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 8 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




10 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
917 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 270 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 189 | 70% |
| Smokes | 60 | 22% |
| HE Grenades | 7 | 3% |
| Molotovs | 14 | 5% |
Our logs show you have wasted $152,235 of utility $90 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 139 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Schlennodorian | 71% | 7 |
| #2 | Schlennodorian | 53% | 62 |
| #3 | Lauren1g | 33% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Schlennodorian | 71% | 7 |
| #2 | Schlennodorian | 53% | 62 |
| #3 | Lauren1g | 33% | 12 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Schlennodorian | 44 | 0.0374 |
| #2 | Lauren1g | 8 | 0.0408 |
| #3 | Schlennodorian | 4 | 0.0282 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Schlennodorian | 143 | 0.12 | 2 min |
| #2 | Lauren1g | 21 | 0.11 | 0 min |
| #3 | Schlennodorian | 10 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Schlennodorian | +7.26 | 90 | 32 |
| #2 | REWE Mitarbeiter | +3.15 | 75 | 36 |
| #3 | Schlennodorian | +1.14 | 75 | 36 |
| #4 | Lauren1g | -1.14 | 74 | 33 |





