








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 516 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 47 matches | ||
| Premier | 44 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 38 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 37 matches | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 36 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 35 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 34 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Office | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 9 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 4 matches | ||
| Faceit | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Jura | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Palacio | 2 matches | ||
| Competitive Italy | 2 matches | ||
| Wingman | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Agency | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 22 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




74 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
2309 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 2,627 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 689 | 26% |
| Smokes | 474 | 18% |
| HE Grenades | 847 | 32% |
| Molotovs | 617 | 23% |
Our logs show you have wasted $328,189 of utility $45 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 349 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Childfarmer69 | 59% | 51 |
| #2 | ⚡-Prey | 57% | 37 |
| #3 | Todd Rogers | 52% | 25 |
| #4 | Leekradium | 52% | 31 |
| #5 | Wombat | 48% | 97 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | KitKat | 87 | 0.0190 |
| #2 | Sobranie | 20 | 0.0143 |
| #3 | Childfarmer69 | 16 | 0.0159 |
| #4 | Wombat | 12 | 0.0059 |
| #5 | Leekradium | 4 | 0.0066 |





