








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 1273 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September





The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 406 matches | ||
| Wingman | 70 matches | ||
| Competitive Mirage | 51 matches | ||
| Esplay | 36 matches | 1,738 | |
| Competitive Ancient | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Anubis | 30 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 25 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 20 matches | ||
| Faceit | 19 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 18 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 15 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 11 matches | ||
| Competitive Overpass | 6 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 16 different maps





Our logs show 63 Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




69 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
7947 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 19,109 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 5946 | 31% |
| Smokes | 5565 | 29% |
| HE Grenades | 4630 | 24% |
| Molotovs | 2968 | 16% |
Our logs show you have wasted $3,372,634 of utility $210 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 853 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shadow⚛ | 59% | 54 |
| #2 | LinkedIn Final boss | 58% | 43 |
| #3 | TobbeT | 55% | 77 |
| #4 | Я кончаю | 47% | 112 |
| #5 | MOWGLI | 41% | 44 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Shadow⚛ | 59% | 54 |
| #2 | LinkedIn Final boss | 58% | 43 |
| #3 | TobbeT | 55% | 77 |
| #4 | Я кончаю | 47% | 112 |
| #5 | MOWGLI | 41% | 44 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Я кончаю | 14 | 0.0063 |
| #2 | Shadow⚛ | 9 | 0.0078 |
| #3 | MOWGLI | 7 | 0.0077 |
| #4 | LinkedIn Final boss | 1 | 0.0011 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Я кончаю | 496 | 0.22 | 11 min |
| #2 | Shadow⚛ | 191 | 0.17 | 4 min |
| #3 | LinkedIn Final boss | 150 | 0.16 | 3 min |
| #4 | TobbeT | 149 | 0.09 | 4 min |
| #5 | MOWGLI | 81 | 0.09 | 2 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Asian steppie | +1.23 | 83 | 48 |
| #2 | LinkedIn Final boss | +0.78 | 58 | 68 |
| #3 | Я кончаю | +0.62 | 53 | 61 |
| #4 | Shadow⚛ | +0.07 | 56 | 52 |
| #5 | MOWGLI | +0.01 | 80 | 55 |





