








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 80 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Premier | 2 matches | ||
| Faceit | 2 matches |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 9 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




4 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
380 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 441 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 86 | 20% |
| Smokes | 51 | 12% |
| HE Grenades | 138 | 31% |
| Molotovs | 166 | 38% |
Our logs show you have wasted $175,221 of utility $240 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 18 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Россия = гей | 60% | 5 |
| #2 | YEETSKIE | 57% | 28 |
| #3 | Scooby jew | 50% | 2 |
| #4 | ロジャーザット911 | 50% | 6 |
| #5 | Fulecon | 40% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Россия = гей | 60% | 5 |
| #2 | YEETSKIE | 57% | 28 |
| #3 | Scooby jew | 50% | 2 |
| #4 | ロジャーザット911 | 50% | 6 |
| #5 | Fulecon | 40% | 5 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | YEETSKIE | 1 | 0.0017 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | YEETSKIE | 13 | 0.02 | 0 min |
| #2 | ロジャーザット911 | 12 | 0.10 | 0 min |
| #3 | Fulecon | 11 | 0.12 | 0 min |
| #4 | Scooby jew | 5 | 0.15 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | Scooby jew | +2.06 | 53 | 76 |
| #2 | x-x | +1.87 | 86 | 40 |
| #3 | YEETSKIE | -0.63 | 81 | 35 |
| #4 | Россия = гей | -2.29 | 35 | 29 |
| #5 | ロジャーザット911 | -3.64 | 65 | 36 |





