








System Report: Annual playtime data retrived
Downloading "touch_grass.exe"


The System has confirmed 255 achievements have been successfully gathered this year* *since we updated them in September




The system has detected peak performance.
You Personal Bests have been compiled for easy screenshotting and bragging rights.





















| Mode | Matches Played | Highest Rank | |
|---|---|---|---|
| Competitive Mirage | 15 matches | ||
| Wingman | 7 matches | ||
| Premier | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Inferno | 6 matches | ||
| Competitive Nuke | 5 matches | ||
| Competitive Vertigo | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Dust2 | 3 matches | ||
| Competitive Train | 1 match | ||
| Competitive Ancient | 1 match |
Mapping data processed:
You've clocked in on 10 different maps





Our logs show No Chickens Have been neutralized under your command
To pay $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Feathered Bird Investigators




52 of your human shaped victims were your teammates...
Chickens... Friends... Is nothing sacred?
874 of your kills registered with elevated levels of pizzazz


System Performance Report:
You experienced several "do or die" situations this year.
Well? Did you do, or did you die?
The System has registered 806 total utility used this year.
| Util Type | Amount Thrown | % of Util |
|---|---|---|
| Flashes | 169 | 21% |
| Smokes | 258 | 32% |
| HE Grenades | 158 | 20% |
| Molotovs | 221 | 27% |
Our logs show you have wasted $282,443 of utility $193 per round
To pay another $5,000 to remove you from the FBI* Watchlist
*Frag Budget Investigators (Defo not the same guys as up there^)





Chat activity report generated...
You've entered 569 messages into the system this year. It was all positive, right? :)
These words were the most typed in 2025*; your typed words are highlighted.
Hover the words to see more info!
*Since we started tracking in June 2025 and with some censoring...

Talk about back pain because these 3 are heavy lifters...
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | kalyx | 83% | 6 |
| #2 | Nuoli100 | 78% | 9 |
| #3 | diddyboi | 67% | 58 |
| #4 | etron33 | 60% | 10 |
| #5 | ananas | 56% | 9 |
| Pos | Player | Win Rate | Matches Played |
|---|---|---|---|
| #2 | Nuoli100 | 78% | 9 |
| #3 | diddyboi | 67% | 58 |
| #4 | etron33 | 60% | 10 |
| #5 | ananas | 56% | 9 |
| #6 | M4rkku | 50% | 6 |
| Pos | Player | Total Team Kills | Per Round |
|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | diddyboi | 25 | 0.0248 |
| #2 | M4rkku | 7 | 0.0642 |
| #3 | kalyx | 5 | 0.0403 |
| #4 | ananas | 3 | 0.0184 |
| #5 | etron33 | 1 | 0.0051 |
| Pos | Player | Times Flashed | Per Round | Flash Duration |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | diddyboi | 57 | 0.06 | 1 min |
| #2 | kalyx | 19 | 0.15 | 1 min |
| #3 | Nuoli100 | 12 | 0.07 | 0 min |
| #4 | etron33 | 5 | 0.03 | 0 min |
| #5 | M4rkku | 4 | 0.04 | 0 min |
| Pos | Player | Leetify Rating | Aim Rating | Utility Rating |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| #1 | diddyboi | +4.70 | 85 | 21 |
| #2 | Mirva Lehtonen | +4.32 | 86 | 22 |
| #3 | etron33 | +3.36 | 70 | 19 |
| #4 | kalyx | +1.42 | 38 | 56 |
| #5 | M4rkku | +1.18 | 50 | 19 |





